One of the more embarrassing things about living in Philadelphia is that it has been voted one of the worst dressed cities in the United States.  I have desperately clung to the fact that I am not a Philly native, but after 10 years here, I don’t know how much longer I can claim to “not really be from here.”  During my time here I have noticed that there are some great guys out there who can’t help but fall into the Philly fashion-clueless trap. 

Here is a list of some of the things that men just shouldn’t wear:

• Fanny Packs: the 80s are over, throw away the fanny pack.  Metro is in, go for the man purse.
• Blue tooth headsets: if you are on the phone by all means, wear your blue tooth.  But…when the conversation ends it is time to take it out of your ear.  The flashing blue light is obnoxious.
• Cell Phone on the belt buckle: your cell phone is not an accessory…seriously, try a man purse if you hate putting your phone in your pocket.
• Short Pants, no socks: get a good tailor and please wear socks with dress shoes!
• White Capri Pants: just don’t do it.  I recently followed a guy around my office to try and figure out what would possess a guy to wear these pants (and what kind of underwear do they wear…this was left undetermined as I don’t know the guy well enough to ask).
• Pit Stains: white shirts that have turned yellow in the arm pits should be thrown away.  It’s nasty.
• Tevas/Birkenstocks with socks: cringe!
• Jean Shorts: double cringe!  Again, the 80s have come and gone, it’s time to retire those shorts and upgrade to 2008. 
• Sweatpants with no boxers: this is fine if you are at home, but when you are running errands on Saturday morning the women of Philly can see your junk.  It’s nasty.
• Wallets with velcro: again, the 80s are over, you are a grown ass man, get yourself a new wallet.

I am sure this is only the tip of the iceberg.  Ladies, I would love to hear anything else that I have missed.  And men, I would love to hear your justification for any of the above.